Every true internet radio mogul starts from humble beginnings. Those that don't, blow all their booty on hookers & coke before they get there. So, to keep myself on the fast-track to stardom (and mogul status) I searched & searched for something menial and below my expertise strictly to keep me grounded and humble. Finally, I recognized this chirping sound in my ear that hasn't stopped for quite some time; it was my wife telling me it was time to remodel our 2 sons' bedroom. Aha! Menial? check. below my expertise? check. I have my grounded project. That's right, I could have told my wife to call our interior designer and slew of decorators that she so richly has on speed-dial to remodel that room, but that would lead to lots of hookers & coke, and no money, so I did it myself.

First I ripped up the carpet to find this awesome carpet hidden below. BINGO! I mean blackjack. I thought I was done! A major improvement over what was there before.

Is that not bad-ass fucking carpet? I mean seriously! I am SOOO teaching my boys how to play craps! Plus, it's on the ground, so that'll make for a quick transition to street craps (in da hood)!

Okay, dream over. My wife made me join Gamblers Anonymous and cover it up w/ real carpet. Again, trying to stay humble, I installed the carpet myself. Holy shit! This radio deal better work, because I am WAY TOO FUCKING LAZY to install carpet for a living! I mean seriously! Those bastards have it rough! I have damn rug-burns on my knees! The last time I got those I ended up tied to a ... oh wait - wrong blog - forget you read that last part.

To sum it all up, I am just as humble as I was when I started, so now that I wasted 2 nights kicking carpet and not working on the radio station, I'm way behind - and I've got no high or whores to show for it.

Welcome to my very first anti-blog post. I call it "anti", because I have completely avoided blogs for as long as I've known about them. Until yesterday, I not only had never contributed to one, I had never even read one. So, I'm not really sure what to write, and to take the literal meaning (web log), well, I don't think I want to do that, because, I really don't want to log my web usage. (The midget fucking is embarassing). Ah, I see you have met my "other side". He will drop in from time to time (drop in? Bitch, I am your inspiration - I'm the funny side). If you are easily offended, then don't read the italicized words in parenthesis, okay? 'Cause I can't control him. He's like a limp dick, he just slips out. (that was a cherry-picked joke, if I've ever heard one, biaatch!)

Okay, now, to pop my blog-cherry...

This blog is more-or-less the inner power struggle between my 2 strongest personalities, and our fight to take over the internet radiowaves from the ground floor. (Just keep in mind, this dude can't stay on task any longer than 10 minutes - so we'll be talking about all kindsa shit). He's right. Of course we could be talking about 80 year old suicide bombers, and he would somehow turn it about sex - I don't know how he does it. (It's easy! Just stick your.... in their...) Okay, STOP!!! I don't wanna hear anymore of that subject.(WHAT!?!?! It's explosive!) Now that's cherry-pickin'!

Alright, to be honest, I have no earthly idea how or what we're gonna turn out on this anti-blog. Just remember, this is your chance to read for free my musings, as when Deviant Radio conquers all mediums we are aiming at, I'm gonna charge for this shit. This is your chance to get in on the ground floor of the next internet phenomenon (ie. myspace)
Don't forget to listen to us every Tuesday @ 8:30pm EST @ Deviant Radio

Okay, now for the real reason of this blog...I currently have in my hand a whole entire box of "blue" paper clips. Huh? Huh? If one red paperclip can get that lucky shmuck a modest house, a whole entire box oughta get me one bad-ass monster of a house, right? Right?! Alright, email me and let me know the address of my new mansion, and I will setup a time to exchange my keys for your paperclips.